Questions…questions…questions!! I have many questions at this stage of my life. What am I supposed to be doing? Is my life over? Am I valuable anymore? How clean does my house have to be? What’s next? Actually, people ask me questions about retirement which I can’t really answer. So, what is it? One of my very good friends who has walked this road before me said, “It’s a process!” The problem is that I want the process to be over and done; but that’s not how process works.
Process is gradual which requires patience! Ugh! I’m a foot tapper so patience is not my strong suit. Am I alone in this? I don’t think so. We live in a world of “fast” results for everything from food to information. The problem is that life is not fast or instant. Sure, I can look back on my life and say things like, “It seems like that happened just yesterday.” The truth is that it happened yesterday which is past. It took a lot of yesterdays to get to today. They have been part of the process of our maturing in age as well as abilities. We are very agreeable about the sanctification process because we know we are not going to achieve perfection in this world but there’s not too much patience for other processes. Is there hope in this retirement process?
“So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
I don’t want to lose heart. I lose heart when I am impatient with my day. Rather than losing heart, I need to seek the Lord. He has me in this. He knows my tendencies and he will work to make me more like Jesus. I must, however, cooperate with him. There is so much more to this life than going to work each day. My being at home doesn’t erase people and their need of Christ. There are people who are lost and need to know the Savior. People who need to know God is with them in their circumstances. I can help if I turn from looking at myself to others. Every time I look to myself, I lose heart. May the Lord help me with this.
The truth is I’m wasting away. We are all dying, which is another process. I’m not getting any younger. I may feel younger but I’m not. That’s the reality of the situation. I need to focus on the eternal glory in the presence of God to come. Death brings me eternity with my Savior. I can waste this time by focusing on “not knowing” or I can become a benefit for the kingdom. Wouldn’t it be great to be able to pull back the curtain and see the glory of God in His fullness? It would, but I have a feeling my wicked heart would still be active.
The bottom line to this retirement thing is that I need to relax in God and allow him to show me what’s next. He’s never failed me ever! He is always true and just! My problem is I need to be more like Jesus! Lord, help me to do just that.
Oh to be like Thee by Thomas O. Chisholm
Oh! To be like Thee, oh! To be like Thee,
Blessed Redeemer, pure as Thou art;
Com in Thy sweetness, come in Thy fullness;
Stamp Thine own image deep on my heart.